RISING TO ANOTHER FALL BY JOSE REYES

I need creativity to feel alive. The moments I’m lacking a spark of novelty, my consciousness consolidates in a room with only one exit. To exist, sacrificial effort is needed and most times, effort is lackluster and I’m back in the trap. The feeling of creating something new or connecting the dots in a manner never done before is liberating. I break the comformative chains that imprinted rings around my wrists. Otherwise I feel myself left behind, not only by others who are ahead of me but by my imaginative self who I run side by side. I have periods in the day, primarily at night, when I enter an imaginative world(this sounds like I’m crazy). Within the imaginative world I focus on making something that I have never seen before. I know I’ve hit a creative jackpot when the imagination is very vibrant and doesn't get washed away. Other times I just write what is on my mind, which is beneficial for my poor memory. Most of my creative struggles are from forgetfulness and lack of energy. When I feel that a subject is not important, I block off my creative flow and can’t produce anything, staying trapped on what I already know. I judge someone on how creative they are (including myself). I know something is creative when it's something I could not think of; something that makes me stop in awe. For me to get to a point where I astonish myself rarely occurs. Maybe I am doing something wrong or not.