My Creative Mind Will Not Die

I am no longer in my body as I dissociate. I float above my body looking down at myself below as my body collapses to the ground gasping for air between sobs. The news article on my phone reads "Tyler Zeleny Death – Cause of Death: Man found with self-inflicted gunshot injury on Broxton Ave."

I observe myself break into a million pieces as I watch from above. I watched a part of myself die on June 6th, 2022. My biggest role model and creative mentor died, at his own hand. Everything I thought I knew slipped away right as his finger pulled the trigger.

The part of me watching above floats up to the sky with no return. The strong and confidently creative in me died. I lost the one who guided me, pushed me to find myself within my art, find my meaning and develop myself as a creative.

April 2nd, 2023, I am still trying to get that part of me back. I am not just lost in the fog; I am getting punched at every move I make. I can’t see, I can’t hear, but I feel the punches coming in harder and harder each time. Every defensive retaliation drains the energy right from my limbs. I continue to fight my way through in order to keep taking steps forward. This journey is not over, it has only begun. I push myself harder and further with each step, taking the thrashes as they come. I fight to find myself, find the fire that was once burning inside of me, the passion to create. As I continue, I strive to do better, because once I stop, my creative mind has already died and nothing will take that from me.

Name: Reese Legan

Hometown: Cleveland, Ohio

Major: Marketing & Entrepreneurship

Year: Sophomore

Fun Fact: I started my own business at 17