SINCE EVERYONE KEEPS MENTIONING MY HAIR BY HANNAH MARTIN

I’m used to standing out. It’s hard not to when your hair is orange, or pink, or purple, or whatever color it is this month. Often, the very first thing someone will say to me is something about my hair, and strangers comment on it in passing every day. 

I’m not trying to stand out — that’s not why I do it. But by dyeing my hair, I take a certain creative control over my self-expression. I’m in constant pursuit of my identity, always trying to make who I am on the outside match how I feel on the inside. Frustratingly, I can never catch up. Who I am is always changing, so I’ll keep changing my hair, keep changing my clothes, keep changing the way I live.

It can be exhausting to feel like I’m never exactly who I want to be. At the same time, it makes me seek out constant growth. The different layers of colors stuck in my hairbrush are like a weird little timeline of my journey. I’m no longer afraid to draw attention to myself or do things boldly — neon orange is my boldest color yet. Creative self-expression is a way of seeing my progress in the mirror.

I’m growing my hair out right now; it feels like it’s going so slowly, but it grows a little bit every day, and every once in a while I notice the progress. I think personal growth happens the same way. Slowly, but surely.